Socialising can get on your nerves. Having to meet people can be painful. Approaching them gets scary. You would rather get drunk and sick than interacting with someone. I feel you. But the thing is, you can overcome extreme shyness if you want to.
Being shy isn’t a bad thing. It needn’t be that way forever, though. When your shyness gets in the way of a healthy social life, you need to control it.
In this article, you’ll find nine tips to overcome shyness quickly.
Let’s check them out.
9 Tips to Overcome Shyness Quickly
Here are the nine shyness overcoming tips:
1- Accept Your Shyness
Being shy doesn’t make you dysfunctional. It’s not a negative attribute. So, accept who you’re, and you start building your confidence. Accepting shyness as a part of your personality gives you the power to manage it.
Self-confidence builds your self-esteem. It helps you see your worth in a new light. So, try to get over what society thinks of you and set new standards for yourself.
I would ask you to celebrate your wins, no matter how small they’re. It helps you overcome your shyness gradually.
2- Observe Your Shyness Triggers
Shyness can come in several situations. And when you know what triggers your shyness, you can better deal with the issues. So, observe the moments when you feel shy.
Start by observing when and why you feel shy; make a list of all those scenarios. Also, list your emotions and what you think of yourself in those moments.
Next, close your eyes and take a deep, long breath. Just think of what positive activities you can do in each scenario; write them down. When you apply them, you can start getting over your shyness, however extreme it is.
3- Identify Your Strengths
Identifying your strengths can suppress the self-damaging thoughts associated with shyness. By shifting your thoughts to your strengths, you can value yourself better. You find yourself more confident and add value to others in your unique ways.
For example, you might not be a talkative person. But, are you a great listener? You probably are. Many people would love to have you by their side, just listening to what they’re saying.
So, learn to recognize your strengths and have a list of them. You can go through them when you feel shy and find ways to use them.
4- Focus on the Surrounding
Another way to overcome extreme shyness is to avoid overthinking about yourself. Instead of devoting your time to your thoughts, you can try thinking of something interesting about others around you.
What you can do is to try guessing their hobbies. You can form fictional stories around why someone is there, what they do and what they’re thinking about.
When you can do so, you’ll definitely be relieved of the anxiety and discomfort of shyness.
5- Make Eye Contact Often
Maintaining eye contact while talking is a subtle way to develop confidence in yourself. Eye contact builds trust both ways, which reduces any inherent fear of talking with others. It’s a critical aspect of having a friendly interaction with anyone.
It might be uncomfortable at first. You can break the chains with regular practice, though, and be free of shyness.
Complement eye contact with other gestures like leaning forward. Such non-verbal gestures communicate much more than what you say or do.
6- Smile to Others
Smiling is another way to appear friendly and welcoming. It’s a gentle way to acknowledge someone’s presence. By smiling, you have a form of interaction and start getting out of your shell slowly.
You might feel nervous in the beginning. You might even try to hide when someone smiles back. It’s fine. But, be rest assured, you’ll get better as you become comfortable.
So, learn to smile, share some laughter with friends, and stretch yourself in the open. Give strangers a slight smile and see them reciprocate. You might even make them feel better, even if just for a moment.
7- Try Things that Scare You
Facing your challenges can also help you deal with your shyness. By confronting your fears, you start growing out of your social anxiety. It changes what you feel about your surroundings.
I’m not asking you to take over the stage. You can start with baby steps: talk to someone new every day, just one a day. Maybe, compliment the store manager you see every day or strike a conversation with your gym instructor.
As you bask in the success of your small conversations, you’ll find yourself getting comfortable talking to strangers. The scary situations gradually seem neutral and under control.
8- Practice One Social Skill at a Time
Being social requires multiple skills. Smiling at a passer-by, complimenting someone, and initiating a conversation are among the few “skills” I mentioned above.
You can start with just one at a time. Start by memorizing a few common phrases and practicing them with those you regularly encounter. As you practice, you improve your ability to communicate in social situations.
Break the ice, master one skill, and move on to the next. This way, you gain confidence and be close to mastering your personality and overcoming shyness.
9- Reward Yourself for Every Success
It can take a long time to overcome extreme shyness. So, watching yourself get past the various hurdles and rewarding yourself is a perfect way to stay motivated.
You can watch your favorite movie or allow yourself a trip to the bakery, maybe. Celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small. Rewards are reminders that you’re doing well.
It’s OK to feel overwhelmed with the process, take a break, and be back in the cave. What’s important is that you’re working on yourself and making progress. Be kind to yourself.
Final thoughts
It can be painful to overcome extreme shyness. Your heart may still beat faster, or your cheeks get redder. But you can get past it and keep it in check, often quicker than you think. It’s not impossible.
So, keep your head high and maintain the pace you’re comfortable with. Find your own path to break yourself out of shyness.
